Cancer of the Face

Today’s song is “Helpless” by k.d. lang. It’s a Neil Young cover from 2004. I first heard it on the show “Brothers & Sisters”, which is a piece of crap show, but for some reason I can’t stop watching the dvds. I’m an only child, so I don’t relate to this show. Big families are really weird to me, especially if they are TV families.

I love watching TV shows on dvd. I’ve always liked tv better than movies. Movies suck.

Today I came across an old email which had a memory in it that I had forgotten. It was early 1996. It was really cold. What I mean is it was Minnesota. My father took me for bagels like he usually did on Saturdays. We spent the time talking about whatever it is I used to talk about then, which are probably the same things I talk about now. My father usually doesn’t have much to say. When I ask him what’s new, he always says nothing.

After bagels, my father drove me back to my apartment. As I was about to get out of the car, he said he had something to tell me. He then told me that my stepmother, Corinne, had cancer. He was very vague and not descriptive, as usual, just telling me she had cancer. No other information was given. He didn’t seem to know much about the cancer. I said goodbye and went on with my day.

Corinne had cervical cancer, but she never died or whatever. That’s not the point. The point is my father always tells me stuff at the last minute and then doesn’t ever want to talk about it again.

When I told my mother about my stepmother’s cervical cancer, her exact words were “She’s a cunt and she got it from fucking my husband. I hope she gets cancer of the face next.” My mother, you see, used to be Corinne’s best friend. She left my dad for a woman, but she never forgave Corinne for ending up with her ex-husband. Even though my mother didn’t want to be with my father anymore, she felt very betrayed by Corinne since she had spent 20 years complaining about my father to her and she ends up with him.

Here is Helpless by k.d. lang: http://www.zshare.net/audio/406255436f6f77