Since I escaped Minnesota two years ago and spent some time in Vegas and LA, I’ve been thinking about why people are mean or heartless or careless or all of those things. I’ve been told my views on people are pessimistic, but I just call that realistic. Nothing makes people run away faster than when you tell them you think most people are mean spirited and stupid.
One of my father’s favorite quotes is when Anne Frank said in her diary “Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart.” The thing is, Anne Frank wrote this while she still had hope of being rescued. I’d like to hear her say that as she’s being gassed. My father and I talk about this all the time.
I’ve been thinking a lot in the last two years about why people are so mean and more specifically, I’ve been thinking about times when someone was mean for no reason all the while exhibiting weird behavior.
Here are some examples:
1. My friend and I were in line at a pancake restaurant in Vegas (I know, only high class for us) and this old man said to me that I was standing to close to him. I didn’t feel that I was standing too close to him so I didn’t move. He just wouldn’t leave me alone. He kept telling me to move away from him and then I told him what a line was and again told him I was not standing too close to him. I paid my bill and this guy was out in the parking lot waiting for me. I got into the car and drove away and he followed us. Years of watching “Charlie’s Angels” paid off since I was able to quickly lose him using some driving techniques the Angels used in the show.
2. Around the same time in Vegas I was in a line (what is it with the lines?) with my mother. We had won $200 in a video poker tournament (yes, more high class times; my mother doesn’t gamble anymore because a lady died next to her the last time she was playing, but that’s a story for another time). We were standing in line waiting to pick up our prize money. I was eating a piece of cake.
This old guy told me it was rude to eat cake in a line. I explained that the cake was made available for everyone and he could have some too if he wanted. he again told me to stop eating the cake in the line. I refused and for some reason he told me he was a veteran. I told him, “Then I salute you by eating this cake”. He persisted the whole time telling me not to eat the cake. My mother and I got our money and as we left we told him to go to hell and both gave him the finger. I’ve given the finger to many people with my mother. She’s fun that way. She’s not afraid of anyone.
3. A long time ago at a restaurant in Minnesota called Byerly’s, my mother and I were in a hurry to eat, so we sat at the counter. There were two spaces available, but there was a woman sitting in between the two open seats. We asked the woman to move down one, but she said, “No, that’s too hard.”
My mother and I sat on either side of this woman and proceeded to have a long, loud conversation in between her, going back and forth discussing things like surgery and other things that are unpleasant while one is eating. We also passed things to each other back and forth until the lady got mad and left. My mother and I are good at collectively punishing someone.
4. I went to this volunteer training for a homo film festival here in LA. They ran out of chairs so many people had to stand up. Sitting next to me was this obviously Jewish woman (a Jew can spot another Jew) who had put her purse on an empty chair next to her. One by one, people would come up to her and ask her to move her purse so they could sit down. Each time she refused to move her purse and let anyone sit down in the chair.
In a way I was impressed by her ability to not allow anyone to sit on the purse’s chair. I wanted to ask her why she why she felt her purse needed a chair more than a person, but I couldn’t think of a way to phrase it to her. I just wonder about her, what she is thinking, that sort of thing.
5. This one really pissed me off. At this coffeehouse I go to in Silver Lake, this guy, as he was leaving, put his dirty dishes on my table. His table was empty and the table between us was empty, but for some reason he deliberately put his dirty dishes on my table and then walked out the door. What does this mean? Is this some kind of weird mean LA thing? Why not just leave his dirty dishes at his table and leave? Why put them on my table?
6. As my mother and I were leaving a casino in Vegas, we got to the space where the car was parked in a handicapped spot (my mother has diabetes so her handicap permit is real; unlike before she got diabetes when she used her dead mother’s handicap permit), anyway, this guy in a wheelchair was screaming something to us and blocking the way. We couldn’t understand what he was screaming or what he wanted, but we couldn’t leave so we saw a security guard sitting outside in front of the casino. We went up to him and asked for his help. He told us he didn’t work there and refused to help us. My mother yelled at him and told him he shouldn’t be outside wearing the security uniform and giving everyone a false sense of safety.
We went back to the car and pushed the screaming man in the wheelchair out of the way. He was still screaming something as we drove off. My mother did her best not to hit him and I don’t think we did hit him.
I have so many more of these sorts of examples. Have you had similar experiences? If so, leave a comment or email me at theawfulrowing@gmail.com.
Today’s song is Bettye Lavette covering the Fiona Apple song “Sleep to Dream”. I love this song. It’s from her strong 2005 “I’ve got my own hell to raise” CD. This song really fits the theme today.
Bettye Lavette—Sleep to Dream
http://www.zshare.net/audio/391045404b4c9e
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