Rendering My Lust

Today’s song is “Don’t Walk Away” by Toni Childs. It’s from a playlist on my Ipod called “The Anger is Good.” This is the first song I ever heard by Toni Childs. I saw the video playing on MTV in the fall of 1988. I had never heard anyone sing like that and I still haven’t. I love Toni. She hasn’t released an album for 13 years, but a new one is one the way next year. Check out her website at:

http://www.tonichilds.com/

I love this song because like me, it’s angry. I dedicated it to my first lover, Dave, who I met and had my first man on man sex with on my mother’s birthday in 1989. I was 15. He was 26. After some hot Google action, I was able to find out what he’s up to these days. Today he is married to some woman named Stephanie who’s some kind of city council woman or something. He’s a pianist and they both live in Roseville. I wonder if Stephanie knows about his interest in young boys. These days, Dateline would be at this door, or rather he’d be at their door.

I remember watching “Brady Bunch” reruns with Dave that day, the first sex day, and then we had sex and then Dave took me to Burger King and bought me a chicken sandwich and then I had sex with him again. That’s when I learned that men will buy you sandwiches if you have sex with them, of course that would never happen today because I’m a vegetarian.

I was in Vegas for the weekend. I had sex with four men in a 3 day period. Sex is what I need. It’s what I’ve been missing.

Something about these men…

Friday night:
This couple that I’ve known for two years from my days of living in Vegas. 3ways are fun. They weren’t my first 3way, but they are fun. The best is to be the single in the 3way. That way you get all the attention.

Saturday night:
Jew #1. Jewish men have big cocks. All of them. This guy, Seth (not his real name; his real name is Michael), is someone I’ve known for awhile now. He’s very quiet until he sticks his cock in my mouth, then he just talks and talks and talks.

Sunday afternoon:
Jew #2. Michael (not his real name; his real name is Seth) works as an executive chef at a Vegas hotel on the strip. I’ve been hot for him for a long time, but hadn’t seen him in two years. He’s certainly the second best lover I’ve ever had. He’s just my type. The only thing I don’t like is his use of the word pussy during sex. What’s that about?

Tonight I spent some time in the Vegas airport. There was an oblivious blonde girl who was in the men’s bathroom, bending over the sink and talking on her phone. She didn’t seem to know or care that she was in the men’s bathroom. It was one of the strangest things I’ve ever seen. It’s one of those things where I’d like to ask her if she knows she is in the men’s bathroom, but when I’ve asked strangers why they behave the way they do, they always act like I’m the one who’s acting strangely.

Then on the plane flying back to Burbank, one of my least favorite celebrities was on the plane: Pauly Shore. Why can’t I meet any good celebrities? He was sitting one row ahead of me and to the left, like in coach. This is making the time I saw Melanie Griffith walking down the street in West Hollywood seem amazing compared to seeing Pauly Shore.

“do I stand here waiting
for the earth to turn to dust
give up my passion
rendering my lust.”

Toni Childs--Don't Walk Away (remix)

http://www.zshare.net/audio/35863659d0f35a