In college I took a class called “American Individualism & You”. I never got into this class and I would leave early every time the class would take a break. The teacher once asked me if I was coming back after the break and I told him I was expressing my individualism by not coming back. He said I missed the point.
During the final test for this class a horrid, severe, short haired girl told me I was using my pencil too loudly, that I was pressing too hard and it was very distracting. Being the Minnesotan I am, I apologized and then pressed even harder during the test, so hard, in fact, the pencil tip broke off. Then I didn’t have a pencil to finish the test.
I didn’t get a very good grade (well, I don’t remember what grade I got, but I hated all types of schooling and rarely got good grades), but I know I didn’t fail, like how I failed the class relaxation techniques. You may be wondering how can someone fail relaxation techniques. Well, it’s simple. In community college you have to take two credits of physical education. Not being the least bit athletic, I decided to take walking and I passed that class, so I figured relaxation techniques would be an easy class to pass, but I had a misunderstanding with the teacher. She looked like a mean spirited Lily Tomlin and was not a relaxed person at all. I had told her I was going to go on vacation for two weeks and that I’d attend class when I got back.
When I got my grade, I noticed it was an F (the class was pass/fail). I asked the teacher why she failed me and she told me that I missed two weeks of classes. I told her that we had discussed this and she had said this was ok. She said she had no recollection of this at all.
She said I would have to take the class again and get a passing grade. I tried to reason with her by telling her that while I was on vacation, I was, in fact, relaxing. Therefore, I was working on the class when I missed the two weeks. This seemed logical to me, but she seemed mystified and angered by this reasoning. I ended up having to take the relaxation techniques class again, which sucked because I would have been done with the 2 year program except for the one gym credit, so I had to go back for a whole semester and take this one 2 credit class so I could get my crap degree in video production.
The song “God & The FBI” is a song to which I relate. It’s by Janis Ian from her 2000 album of the same name. It’s a great album and this track is funny and one of my favs. I feel like this song all the time. I’m always making trouble for myself by taking vacations and pressing too hard with my pencil.
“WELCOME TO THE FIFTIES
YOU LOOK A LITTLE SHIFTY”
God & The FBI by Janis Ian
http://www.zshare.net/audio/43466123fd5834/
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