Just an ordinary man slipping away…

My new boss, I’m sick of him already, he wears cut off jeans with holes in the back and no underwear so I see things I don’t want to see all day long.

Everyday I have to untangle my Ipod headphones. I try to keep them untangled, but it doesn’t work.

I’m still recovering my Friday night when it took me two and a half hours to get home in the rain.

A friend is coming back from some place far off and she will come back with all kinds of obnoxious revelations.

I spent today looking up info about Austin and planning my escape.

I was thinking today about the first job I ever had, which started this long hateful journey I have with employment. My mother calls jobs “adult daycare” and I have to agree. Most of my friends are amazed by my ability to avoid employment, but I’m not. It just comes natural to me.

I’ve hated every job I’ve ever had, so why would I be out searching for this?

I’ve gotten away with everything I could in jobs, almost as much as my mother, but I did not steal. I did once send a lava lamp to my friend and charge it to a mean customer’s account when I worked for a home shopping channel years ago.

My first job was at a place called Hal’s. It was a men’s clothing store located in Knollwood Mall in St. Louis Park (or was it Hopkins?). My father played ping pong—I mean table tennis, with the owner (he’s dead now just like everyone on my father’s team).

My father helped me make a hand written resume, but I can’t remember what was on it. What could have been on it since I’d never had a job before this point?

The job, like every job since, was not a good fit. First off, it was at a men’s clothing store. I knew and know nothing about clothes. When a customer came in with her son, she asked me if we had any sport coats. I asked her for what sport and she rolled her eyes at me and sighed heavily in that entitled suburban mom kind of way. It’s funny that I would ask her what sport since even if that was the correct question to ask, I would have had no idea about anything related to sports.

We had to stand the entire time and I found that unbearable. I was also horrified one day when the effeminate, fat, closeted gay guy I worked with was wearing the same cardigan sweater that I owned. When I got home, I threw that sweater away.

I remember that my mother and her non-lesbian “roommate” (that’s for another blog entry) came in and they purposely unfolded and messed up the sweaters that I had just folded “the Hal’s Way” (I still fold clothes this way). Then my mother’s “roommate” came back to the storeroom where I had gone to escape them and talked to me and I got in trouble with my boss. She said the rule was no non-employees in the storeroom. I pretended I didn’t understand her, which is my way of coping when a boss yells at me.

I lasted for a month and a half. I still don’t understand clothes. I have no idea how to dress. I look at old pictures of myself and I think I look like I escaped from the group home.

I think a lot about what I should be wearing now that I am almost 34. What does a 34 year old wear? Certainly it’s not “nice-nice” clothes. I mean I don’t own a suit or a tie or even a sport coat, so I don’t know what to wear.

I was thinking about the song “Ordinary Morning” by Sheryl Crow. I feel this way, the way she feels in the song, the part about slipping away. This is from her “Sheryl Crow album from 1996. I’m not a big fan of Sheryl’s hits, but some of her lesser known songs like this one are some of my favorites. No one writes in such detail about depression. I once saw Sheryl Crow on TV sing opera and I was amazed. She has an incredible voice.

This song is exactly how I am feeling today.

I'm just an ordinary man slipping away…

Sheryl Crow—Ordinary Morning
http://www.zshare.net/audio/381644578f9055