The Awful Rowing Begins

Hello All-



My name is Josh, not my real name. My real name is Noah.



Welcome to my music blog. I've been wanting to share some tunes with all of you. I am usually drawn to sad music, but not all the songs I post will be sad. It really depends on my mood. I will try to post at least one song a day, so please check back often.



If you are wondering where the title of this music blog comes from, it comes not from music, but from my favorite book of poetry, "The Awful Rowing Toward God" by Anne Sexton. Any Anne fans out there? My favorite poem of all time is in that book. It's called "The Rowing Endeth". To read that poem, visit http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1058/is_23_120/ai_111114163.



Music helps me in so many ways and it's usually the lyrics I am drawn to since I love poetry and words. I will be posting songs that mean something to me and telling you about the personal history of the song in my life.



Many of my friends have blogs and they post just personal things about one another and then someone always gets mad. I am writer. I put all my personal feelings in my writing. I am a private person, so I will be telling you things about myself, but it will take some time for me to get into all of that. Writing and music is confessional for me. I like to hide behind the words of a song or a poem.



Here are some facts about me for you curious types:



I am left handed.

I am a Jew.

I live in LA, but wonder most of the time what the hell I am doing here.

I always long to be some place else.

I'm a homo.

I like men who are dark and hairy.

Until I was 23 (meaning until someone told me), I used to use spoons and forks wrong when eating.

I have a block with spelling and math.

For the past three years I have been stuck.



It's now September 1st. I used to hate September when I was younger because it meant going back to school and the end of the summer and the beginning of a long, cold winter. Where I am from, in Minnesota, there is one day in early September when the clouds come in and the temperature goes down and you know that is the day that summer is over. Nice weather won't be back for seven or more months. People from Minnesota are such sky oriented people, geared to changing weather. No matter where a Minnesotan ends up, he or she will always be talking about the weather.



My favorite musical artist is Joni Mitchell. (yeah, you can just tell I'm lots of fun at a party, right!) Today we do not begin with Joni. We begin with Tracy Chapman, who's been a favorite of mine since her first album (I had the tape) in 1988. I used to play her tape constantly. My best friend Elizabeth (not her real name; her real name is Lola) used to hate it when I played Tracy Chapman. She hated all my "depressing music", but I never found it depressing. I always found it helpful.



The song to start off my music blog and to start this new month is a song from Tracy Chapman's 2005 album "Where You Live" called "Change". I chose this song to start with because it sums up where I am right now. I didn't particularly like this song when it first came out, but that year, two years ago, I was checked out of my life. I'm still checked out in ways no one understands, but I'm used to that now.



I am trying to change.



The lyrics:



If you knew that you would die today,
Saw the face of God and love,
Would you change?
Would you change?

If you knew that love can break your heart
When you're down so low you cannot fall
Would you change?
Would you change?

How bad, how good does it need to get?
How many losses? How much regret?
What chain reaction would cause an effect?
Makes you turn around,
Makes you try to explain,
Makes you forgive and forget,
Makes you change?
Makes you change?

If you knew that you would be alone,
Knowing right, being wrong,
Would you change?
Would you change?

If you knew that you would find a truth
That brings up pain that can't be soothed
Would you change?
Would you change?

How bad, how good does it need to get?
How many losses? How much regret?
What chain reaction would cause an effect?
Makes you turn around,
Makes you try to explain,
Makes you forgive and forget,
Makes you change?
Makes you change?

Are you so upright you can't be bent?
If it comes to blows are you so sure you won't be crawling?
If not for the good, why risk falling?
Why risk falling?

If everything you think you know,
Makes your life unbearable,
Would you change?
Would you change?

If you'd broken every rule and vow,
And hard times come to bring you down,
Would you change?
Would you change?

If you knew that you would die today,
If you saw the face of God and love,
Would you change?
Would you change?
Would you change?
Would you change?

If you saw the face of God and love
If you saw the face of God and love
Would you change?
Would you change?



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I'm using zshare to share the file. It's a site where you can hear the song before downloading it. The song is at:




http://www.zshare.net/audio/341612325450b1/



You can see the music video if you like at:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s448Vvx2J7w



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Please let me know what you think of the songs I post. If you have songs you want to share, please send them my way. You can also email me:



mailto:theawfulrowing@google.com



NOAH